So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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