hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
