We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
