i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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