Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You need Xanax blowdarts
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
