dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
