While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
