I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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