i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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