i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
