did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
