you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
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