I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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