my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
