I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
