I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
