just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
