I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
