I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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