Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
