I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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