new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
