I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
