We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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