I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
