You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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