So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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