Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
