So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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