Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
