that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
