Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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