I'm so fucking centered right now
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
