I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
