just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
