You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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