come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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