went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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