Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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