who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
