And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
