a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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