I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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