I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
