It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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