Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
