then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
