she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
