btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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