I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
