There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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