I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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